February, though the shortest month, can feel the longest when you live in Michigan. If it’s been a cold, snowy winter, cabin fever can really kick in during this terribly-long-though-short month.
And in 2013, February was a very hard month.
I remember standing in the driveway shoveling snow and crying, because it was just hard. Not because it was cold and snowy. But because I wanted to quit…
I was at the end of my rope emotionally with one of our kids, and spending 24/7 with that child through homeschooling and just being together was making me want to quit.
I wouldn’t say it was a clash of personalities as much as it was a battle of wills. And a collision of sin natures.
It was mom vs. child, and no one was winning.
Every day, we’d fight. The emotions would escalate. I’d yell. He’d yell. We’d both cry.
And I’d end up shoveling the driveway and daydreaming of running away to a tropical place and sipping a smoothie on a beach somewhere. Alone.
Let me just say, it’s not the healthiest place to be. But those people who tell you to “enjoy EVERY moment?” They probably aren’t living in a February like that one.
That spring and summer, I seriously considered sending him to school. I was really pondering if I should quit homeschooling. I wondered, if I continued, would I sacrifice my sanity?
I realized that I could send him to a school for 7-8 hours a day, where the teachers would have to deal with him. We wouldn’t have to work through our obvious interpersonal issues, and we’d never reach the heart of those issues. It would be “easy.”
Short-term easy, anyway.
Can I just say that I’m glad that season is over? And I’m 100% confident that my decision to keep homeschooling was the right one.
The child and I had several come-to-Jesus talks. Lots of apologizing and trying to get it right. We each had to decide to act like Jesus wants us to toward each other. And we had PLENTY of practice time throughout our days together.
Our relationship, though imperfect, is sweeter than I could have guessed two years ago.
He surprised me with this painting on Valentine’s Day. I cherish it, because it reminds me that God did a great work of grace in our relationship. He mended us.